Sunday, February 21, 2010
So, I've been watching the Olympics faithfully for the last week now. I love the Olympics, both the Summer and the Winter Olympics. I find it so exciting to watch the athletes and what they can accomplish. There alway seems to be so many amazing stories of redemption, or come back, or the rookie who came out of no where. To see these kind of things unfold and take place is like watching history take place and I love that. For those( and of course I'm talking to myself since no one is actually reading this.) who are reading this, I love history. It's my favorite subject, so for someone like me to see history taking place, it's like the most incredible thing ever. Well, back to my story. Every Olympic games, my sisters and I, while we're watching the advents take place get an Olympic boyfriend. We don't actually get a boyfriend, but we just see someone that we like, who is an amazing athlete and we say that they are our boyfriend. I know that it's kind of weird sounding and perhaps a bit desperate( but believe me, it's not as sad as it sounds, it's just something that my sisters and I have always done.) This time around I've been taken with the young United States speed skater, J. R. Celski. I honestly think that he is absolutely adorable, and that he's very talented. Hearing his story last week for the first time about how he cut himself( very very badly and if you want to hear the full story, look it up on the internet cause i'm sure anyone else could tell the story better than I could.) in a race nearly five months ago and was able to still heal and make it to the Olympic games is incredible to me. What kind of person is so strong and devoted to what they do? I know that I'm not, and seeing him being able to do that really makes me want to become stronger and more involved and devoted to the things that I love and do. I'm the same age as him, and seeing what he has been able to accomplish and do in his life kind of makes me feel as if I should have done more in my life. Even if he never wins another competition or race again, I have to say that I'm totally devoted to being a fan of his because of what he has been able to overcome and do. I just hope that he never become like so many other athletes and becomes full of himself and what he is able to do. Anyways, I wish all the best to J. R. and hope that he has in incredible life in whatever he plans to do. Just for now in my life, I guess I'll have to be content to have J.R. as my Winter Olympic boyfriend.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Many a time I have been related to Marianne Dashwood from Jane Austen's classic novel, Sense and Sensibility. Not only because of my emotion ways, but because of my incurable romantic ways that in preferring to focus on what might be, rather than what is. Even the relationship between Marianne and her sister Elinor or alike in so many ways to me and my own sister. Their very way of communicating to each other and looking at things so differently are so like my sister and myself. I've decided to share some quotes from Marianne that I wish I could say myself.
"Pathetic? To die for love? How can you say so? What could be more glorious?"
"That is what I like; that is what a young man ought to be. Whatever be his pursuits, his eagerness in them should know no moderation, and leave him no sense of fatigue."
"It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others."
"At my time of life opinions are tolerably fixed. It is not likely that I should now see or hear anything to change them."
"Esteem him? Like him? Use those insipid words again and I shall leave the room this instant."
"Is there a felicity in the world superior to this? Margaret, we will walk here at least two hours."
"I could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own. He must enter into all my feelings; the same books, the same music must charm us both. . . ."
There are many, many other quotes that I could put down here, but for now, I'll just leave you with my favorite poem by Hartley Coleridge
"Is love a fancy, or a feeling? No.
It is immortal as immaculate Truth,
'Tis not a blossom shed as soon as youth,
Drops from the stem of life--for it will grow,
In barren regions, where no waters flow,
Nor rays of promise cheats the pensive gloom.
A darkling fire, faint hovering o'er a tomb,
That but itself and darkness nought doth show,
It is my love's being yet it cannot die,
Nor will it change, though all be changed beside;
Though fairest beauty be no longer fair,
Though vows be false, and faith itself deny,
Though sharp enjoyment be a suicide,
And hope a spectre in a ruin bare."
I know that at this point I'm just writing to myself and no one is actually reading this, but it's really nice to have my thoughts out in the "open" in some ways. It feels like there's less pressure or whatever going on in my head. Anyways, I was listening to this song by Relient K earlier called, "This is The End". It's a pretty good song and one of the lines from it goes like this, "You're not the first thing in my life I've loved and lost, Yeah, I've done worst things that I might be less inclined to really just shrug off." So this song kind of reminded me of some things that have happened in my life. Now, my life really isn't that interesting, but there are some things that have happened that have hurt me, things I've done that I've regretted, things that I've loved and things that I've just shrugged off. I've had my first love and lost it. Having ones first love is one of the weirdest things ever and probably one of the most complicated. I wasn't that young, but I guess you could say I was a bit naive and probably not really sure how relationships work. Anyways, I feel in love, dumb, ridicules, unpredictable, stupid, shameful, and unknowingly in love. I didn't know it until it had happened and by the time it happened, it was to late to do anything about it. Anyways, it ended unhappily for me and I've had to go on with my life trying to act like it never happened. I've just recently figured out that, that probably isn't the best way to deal with it. It happened and there's no pretending that it didn't happen. I can go on with my life knowing that it happened and even taking things from it and learning from it. If I just try to forget about it, than it would have been a worthless experience that just hurt me. But, if I learn from my mistakes and from the guys mistake, than maybe, if it ever happens again, I won't be to hurt next time it happens. A broken heart is bad and it hurts and there's not many ways of getting over it, but acting like it never happened only buries the hurt and pain deeper into your heart causing it to live within you forever. My advice to myself and to anyone that may ever read this would be to learn from your past relationships and to let the hurt out of your heart by talking about it and not hiding it deep within one's self, as I did at first. I've loved and lost, but I'll never forget.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
So the other day I was trying to figure out what that meant. S.O.S. So I looked it up and it's like a distress signal. Sometimes I feel like screaming that. I mean, I feel like a distress signal would be the perfect thing to get you out of a terrible problem or situation. The other day I went out to eat with my father and some of my sisters and I was walking to the bathroom with them and and guess who I saw. The one man that I really can't stand. I don't know why, but for some reason, this guy has always gotten on my nerves and really bothered me. I've known him for many years( probably about five or six years.) and I'm great friends with his sister, but every time that I see him, I get this sudden urge to hit him or something. He's so arrogant and full of himself and he has this way of thinking that he's better than other people. I've let him know how I feel about him, but he just acts like I'm some immature stupid younger girl that doesn't know anything. I walked by him, and at first I was kind of happy because I saw someone else that I know an like, but then I turned and saw his face and disappointment followed. I just don't like to be around him and he always seems to make something seem less fun or enjoyable when I'm around. He's like some kind of kill joy. If only someone could of let me know that he was around the corner in that restaurant or if somehow I would have known, I would have stopped dead in my tracks and not have gone that way. I feel that my whole evening would have been better. Of course, I'm being kind of mean when I say all these things about this dude, he's honestly not that bad of a guy, but we've just never hit it off, and I don't enjoy being around him, and I can't stand the way he's in love with himself, and he seems to always be a kill joy, and he's so annoying, and I just don't like him, so never mind. Maybe some day when I'm way older, I'll finally be able to be kind to him and maybe he'll be kind to me and we'll be friends......yeah right. Anyways, I feel that I need a warning every time I'm about to see this guy, so that I can be ready for him mentally and physically. Some kind of S.O.S. warning of some sort.....
Monday, December 28, 2009
Guys are stupid. Yeah, I just said that and I mean it. I can never figure out if guys are cute are just dumb. They say things and then they do something totally different. They can be cruel too. They can say things that hurt and sometimes they don't say things, and that's what hurts. Even with all their problems, I find my self liking them and finding them cute or adorable. There are some that I can't stand and that I'll never be able to like, even if I wanted too, but there are others that are just classic. They are like from a dream, they seem so perfect. Of course I don't personally know any of the perfect kind that seem like they're from a dream( I can only dream of those kind.), but I do know many of the other kind. Some times though, I find that even the non perfect ones can surprise you at times and make you think that maybe, just for a moment, they might be just a little bit perfect. Something else that I realized the other day is that, no one is perfect, not even those guys in those books that I like to read or from some of my favorite books, or from my dumb dreams because no one is perfect. Hahaha....it's true. No one is perfect, not even me( even if I would like to think it at times.). I think that I need to become a little more forgiving to those that I may see as non perfect and maybe give them a little more of a chance. I may find something special in some of those people that I may not have seen before. Guys are dumb and they can be frustrating at times, but so can I. I can be one of the most annoying people in the world and if people can learn to live with me and forgive me for my mistakes then I should learn to do the same things. No ones perfect....
Saturday, December 26, 2009
So my brother is getting married tomorrow. Yeah, that's right, two days after Christmas. It's been a busy couple of weeks and an even more busy couple of days before the wedding. Today was a pretty interesting day. I'm one of the Bridesmaids which is interesting too. It's the first time I've ever been in a wedding, so that kind of makes me nervous. We had so much to do today before the wedding. Cleaning the house for relatives was probably one of the hardest things we've had to do. My home is kind of big, and having a big family makes it hard to keep the house clean( which can be very annoying at times.). We started cleaning the house a few days ago and finally, the day that people showed up, the house looked clean( of course, who knows how long that it will last.). The wedding is at 2:30 and my sister( who is also a bridesmaid) have to be ready and at the place by 1. The wedding is to take place in the front yard of the bride which is going to be pretty fun( the first time I've ever been to a wedding that was in someone's yard.). There's also more bridesmaids then there are grooms men, so my sister and I "get to" both walk with this guy back down the aisle. We don't ever know this guy, so I'm not so sure about it. Anyways, this whole thing( wedding) will hopefully be fun and I hope it's a wonderful day for my brother and his future wife. She really is a nice woman and I've known her for years, so I really hope that she is happy. I just hope that I'm able to walk down the aisle without falling( considering I'll be in heels and it's going to be in a yard with grass and all.). To look on the bright side, if I do fall, at least it will add some fun memories to the wedding.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Today was Christmas. What a wonderful day that is in my home. My little sisters woke my up at 6 in the morning and I went into out living room with them to see what was to be found beneath our tree. Christmas was even more interesting this year then it ever has been before. You see, one of my cousins moved into our house this past year and one of my brothers moved to Japan. I wasn't really sure how it was going to be with one of my closest brothers out of the country and a cousin that I didn't even know until this last year here. It turned out being possibly one of my favorite Christmases ever. You see, my brother came home yesterday for a surprise visit( even though it wasn't the biggest surprises ever. You see, my older sister and I kind of figured out that he was coming home a couple of weeks ago, but it was still a nice surprise.). I was in bed asleep and in my sleep I thought I heard someone running down our hall way, the next thing I heard was my bedroom door being opened and as I was preparing to yell at my younger sisters( cause I thought it was them.), I felt a huge wait on top of me. My brother had run down our hall way and jumped on top of my bed on me. That probably surprised me more then him coming home....hahaha, but anyways, I loved the fact that my family was able to spend at least one more Christmas together. The day is near it's end now and before it comes to a complete end, me, my dad and two of my sisters are going to finish one of the best movies ever. The Fellowship of the Ring. It's a Christmas movie, right?