Saturday, January 16, 2010

Love Hurts: Just a lesson we all have to learn

I know that at this point I'm just writing to myself and no one is actually reading this, but it's really nice to have my thoughts out in the "open" in some ways. It feels like there's less pressure or whatever going on in my head. Anyways, I was listening to this song by Relient K earlier called, "This is The End". It's a pretty good song and one of the lines from it goes like this, "You're not the first thing in my life I've loved and lost, Yeah, I've done worst things that I might be less inclined to really just shrug off." So this song kind of reminded me of some things that have happened in my life. Now, my life really isn't that interesting, but there are some things that have happened that have hurt me, things I've done that I've regretted, things that I've loved and things that I've just shrugged off. I've had my first love and lost it. Having ones first love is one of the weirdest things ever and probably one of the most complicated. I wasn't that young, but I guess you could say I was a bit naive and probably not really sure how relationships work. Anyways, I feel in love, dumb, ridicules, unpredictable, stupid, shameful, and unknowingly in love. I didn't know it until it had happened and by the time it happened, it was to late to do anything about it. Anyways, it ended unhappily for me and I've had to go on with my life trying to act like it never happened. I've just recently figured out that, that probably isn't the best way to deal with it. It happened and there's no pretending that it didn't happen. I can go on with my life knowing that it happened and even taking things from it and learning from it. If I just try to forget about it, than it would have been a worthless experience that just hurt me. But, if I learn from my mistakes and from the guys mistake, than maybe, if it ever happens again, I won't be to hurt next time it happens. A broken heart is bad and it hurts and there's not many ways of getting over it, but acting like it never happened only buries the hurt and pain deeper into your heart causing it to live within you forever. My advice to myself and to anyone that may ever read this would be to learn from your past relationships and to let the hurt out of your heart by talking about it and not hiding it deep within one's self, as I did at first. I've loved and lost, but I'll never forget.

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